Here are some quick tips for celebrating Mardi Gras right! Hope you can use and enjoy them every year. Laissez les bon temps rouler! (translation: something about beads and flashing your tatas, I’m sure)
Mardi Gras Tip #1: The goal of drinking frozen hurricanes is to get drunk enough that you can’t feel the brain freeze any more.
Mardi Gras Tip #2: Don’t get stingy with your beads.
Mardi Gras Tip #3: Balconies are for more than staring down blouses. Throw stuff at people!
Mardi Gras Tip #4: Doubloons thrown from floats aren’t legal currency. Don’t be fooled.
Mardi Gras Tip #5: When vomiting, do something unexpected, you may get some beads. Suggestion: Puke mid-Backflip.
Mardi Gras Tip #6:Don’t take crawfish étouffée from hobos. Hint: It’s not crawfish.
Mardi Gras Tip #7: Don’t be fooled by the stockings and makeup, that’s a man.
Mardi Gras Tip #8: When drunkenly hopping aboard a float, make sure to stabilize by chaining your body to it.
Mardi Gras Tip #9: If you see an enormous Snoopy balloon coming at you, you’re at the wrong parade.
Mardi Gras Tip #10: If you’re not in New Orleans & you forgot to wear purple, gold or green, put some rum in a Big Gulp Slurpee and spew colors.
Mardi Gras Tip #11: Don’t forget to tip your flasher.
Mardi Gras Tip #12: Don’t forget to flash your tipper. (Thanks to Brian Owen for that reminder)
Mardi Gras Tip #13: Help your fallen friends off the pavement. It’s all fun and games until someone is trampled by a police horse.
Mardi Gras Tip #14: Never forget the original values of the holiday. Public nudity, inebriation and plastic beads!
Mardi Gras Tip #15: Don’t forget to brush up on your French to correctly pronounce beignet, étouffée and Po’ Boy.
Mardi Gras Tip #16: Stay away from Bourbon Street, that place is dullsville. Nothing going on there. Just boring. Mostly museums.